redorchids: (Default)
Back in 2008, I did this thing where I ran a word frequency count on all my sex scenes and came up with some pretty revealing and completely hilarious results. And tonight I happend upon that post again and, after lots and lots of LOLs, I naturally sat down and did the same thing with a bunch of my newer porn ficlets. As you do.

The results were, once again, absolutely hilarious.

BODIES & PARTS (compared with 2008 results and ranking in brackets)
words related to:

351 (22%) -- Hands, fingers, arms (cf. 20%, #2)
280 (17%) -- Mouth, breath, voice (cf. 23%, #1)
226 (14%) -- Rest of head ( --- )
177 (11%) -- Face and neck (cf. 20%, #3)
128 (  8%) -- Legs and feet (cf. 6%, #7)
112 (  7%) -- Whole body, skin (cf. 15%, #4)
  95 (  6%) -- Eyes (cf. 8%, #5)
  94 (  6%) -- Naughty parts (cf. 1%, #8)
  85 (  5%) -- Upper body (cf. 7%, #6)
82 (  5%) -- Hips and ass ( --- )

Pretty much the same results as before, overall, with the huge difference that the category "naughty parts", which was sadly underrepresented in 2008 with only 19 measly mentions, has now advanced to the same level as "eyes". Likewise, absolutely hilariously, "fuck"--a verb that didn't even make the "verbs" list in 2008--now tops it with a whooping 160 entries. Clearly, the time I sat down and wrote Harry/Draco/Hermione/OFC foursome porn until I could type dirty words without blushing paid off in spades.

All stats behind the cuts. I'm going to go LOL some more. :D

All body part stats )

All verb stats )
All adjectives/adverbs stats )
Miscellaneous extras that I found especially funny )
redorchids: (Epic flail)
http://ninja-orange.livejournal.com/51661.html

This person wrote a program that writes Arthur/Merlin porn on its own.
There are no words for how much epic win that entails. :DDDD

On Verbs

Jun. 17th, 2008 07:32 pm
redorchids: (Default)

Hello y'all,

A pretty long time ago, [info]theohara did this funny, funny post on word choices in fanfic. If you haven't read it, you definitely should. (
 
http://theohara.livejournal.com/203973.html)

Anyway, ever since she did that, I've been wanting to check my own stories. And yesterday, I finally did.

 So, I copy-pasted all my love scenes (along with some of the heavier make-out sessions) into a nice, long text file and ran it through Word Count Machine 2.5.1 (which was a bit crappy since I was only willing to get the free demo version and didn't get the nice export to Excell feature). Out came all sorts of interesting information.

For easier view, I combined entries for similar words (hand/hands, eye/eyes/eyelash/eyebrow, touch/touched/touching and so on), took away all the grammatical ones (such as 'the') and excluded all entries that appeared less than 10 times. Since there were about 3300 different words in my search, I narrowed it down into categories as well.

Ok, here we go!

BODIES & PARTS
(words related to...)

401 -- Mouth, breath, voice
363 -- Hands, fingers, arms
354 -- Face and neck
259 -- Whole body, skin
150 -- Eyes
116 -- Upper body
110 -- Legs and feet
  19 -- Naughty parts

So, yes. 92,7% of all nouns relating to the body are waist-up. Guess we can leave the whole 'ass or face'-debate for solved, then. This is actually rather scary in all its Freudian revelations.
And while we're on the revealing track...

SEDUCTION OF THE SENSES
(Verbs related to the 5 senses + 1)

1935 -- Touchy feely
  537 -- Taste, speech and oral sensations
  363 -- Mental seduction
  152 -- Eye candy
    30 -- Hearing
      0 -- Smelly stuff

When putting together this table, I actually went "Wait a second, isn't there a fifth sense? I know the mental aspect isn't officially one..." Guess this explains why I have no problem what so ever to have sex in the morning after a big party when everyone is smelly and hungover. Yes, well.

An ex-boyfriend once said (quite amazed, apparently he hadn't run into a creature such as me before) that I was incredibly 'tactille' ('tactile' in English?), i.e. that I explored the world by touching stuff. This is pretty true, I do touch everything, from velvet drapes to weird-looking pebbles on the ground. Still, the 64,7% leaves me a bit shocked. :-)

To be continued in the next post as this is too heavy for LJ to handle...

redorchids: (Default)
 Another thing I apparently have a thing for are contrasts. The smooth/hard, pain/pleasure kind of couplets. I'm suspecting the touchy-feely fetish is to blame here as well. And I also seem to be rather impatient and demanding girl, scoring 80 'more', 89 'again', 25 'need' and 24 'desperate'.

What do you mean I can't have ice-cream for breakfast?

Adjectives (other)Nouns (other)Adverbs etc (other)
close103word48down144
soft89pleasure39again89
deep65sensation36more80
hard64pain34around70
slow43thought33inside53
long42wand26between31
quick37need25along30
firm32passion24across29
smooth27potion22suddenly28
low26another21slightly26
wet25desire21together26
desperate24silence21beneath21
tight24blood19behind19
sensitive22urgency19enough19
fast21contact16gently12
intense20end16utterly12
small16heat16
warm16inch16
deadly15tension16
better14anger15
complete14position15
final14release15
actual12spot14
incredible12water14
cold11effect13
heavy11power13
beautiful10act/activity12
different10emotion12
free10fire12
good10rhythm12
sure10sex12
answer10
edge10
memory10   


And finally, there's the kinky streak.
Oh, goody, I thought I had one of those on backorder.

PLACES TO GET IT ON
(Steam it up on/in/against a...)

25 -- door
23 -- bed
20 -- floor
17 -- wall
10 -- chair
10 -- classroom
10 -- (train) compartment
  7 -- room
  6 -- corridor
  6 -- mirror
  6 -- pillow
  5 -- library
  5 -- table
  3 -- hallway


Er. Yes.

Well, they're obviously where my characters get it on. Not me. At least not all of them (3 whole cases of unknown territory--and no, I'm not saying which :-))

And I think we'll leave it there. If you want to see the whole list, click the LJ-cuts below. Now I just need to convince my dear friend and fanfic accomplice [info]lariopefic
 to post hers. :-D

In the meantime... Anyone else up for sharing and comparing?
Cheers
/Red 

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