redorchids | Entries tagged with on verbs

Back in 2008, I did this thing where I ran a word frequency count on all my sex scenes and came up with some pretty revealing and completely hilarious results. And tonight I happend upon that post again and, after lots and lots of LOLs, I naturally sat down and did the same thing with a bunch of my newer porn ficlets. As you do.

The results were, once again, absolutely hilarious.

BODIES & PARTS (compared with 2008 results and ranking in brackets)
words related to:

351 (22%) -- Hands, fingers, arms (cf. 20%, #2)
280 (17%) -- Mouth, breath, voice (cf. 23%, #1)
226 (14%) -- Rest of head ( --- )
177 (11%) -- Face and neck (cf. 20%, #3)
128 ( 8%) -- Legs and feet (cf. 6%, #7)
112 ( 7%) -- Whole body, skin (cf. 15%, #4)
95 ( 6%) -- Eyes (cf. 8%, #5)
94 ( 6%) -- Naughty parts (cf. 1%, #8)
85 ( 5%) -- Upper body (cf. 7%, #6)
82 ( 5%) -- Hips and ass ( --- )

Pretty much the same results as before, overall, with the huge difference that the category "naughty parts", which was sadly underrepresented in 2008 with only 19 measly mentions, has now advanced to the same level as "eyes". Likewise, absolutely hilariously, "fuck"--a verb that didn't even make the "verbs" list in 2008--now tops it with a whooping 160 entries. Clearly, the time I sat down and wrote Harry/Draco/Hermione/OFC foursome porn until I could type dirty words without blushing paid off in spades.

All stats behind the cuts. I'm going to go LOL some more. :D

( All body part stats )

( All verb stats )

( All adjectives/adverbs stats )

( Miscellaneous extras that I found especially funny )

http://ninja-orange.livejournal.com/51661.html

This person wrote a program that writes Arthur/Merlin porn on its own.
There are no words for how much epic win that entails. :DDDD

Hello y'all,

A pretty long time ago, theohara did this funny, funny post on word choices in fanfic. If you haven't read it, you definitely should. ( http://theohara.livejournal.com/203973.html)

Anyway, ever since she did that, I've been wanting to check my own stories. And yesterday, I finally did.

So, I copy-pasted all my love scenes (along with some of the heavier make-out sessions) into a nice, long text file and ran it through Word Count Machine 2.5.1 (which was a bit crappy since I was only willing to get the free demo version and didn't get the nice export to Excell feature). Out came all sorts of interesting information.

For easier view, I combined entries for similar words (hand/hands, eye/eyes/eyelash/eyebrow, touch/touched/touching and so on), took away all the grammatical ones (such as 'the') and excluded all entries that appeared less than 10 times. Since there were about 3300 different words in my search, I narrowed it down into categories as well.

Ok, here we go!

BODIES & PARTS
(words related to...)

401 -- Mouth, breath, voice
363 -- Hands, fingers, arms
354 -- Face and neck
259 -- Whole body, skin
150 -- Eyes
116 -- Upper body
110 -- Legs and feet
19 -- Naughty parts

So, yes. 92,7% of all nouns relating to the body are waist-up. Guess we can leave the whole 'ass or face'-debate for solved, then. This is actually rather scary in all its Freudian revelations. And while we're on the revealing track...

SEDUCTION OF THE SENSES
(Verbs related to the 5 senses + 1)

1935 -- Touchy feely
537 -- Taste, speech and oral sensations
363 -- Mental seduction
152 -- Eye candy
30 -- Hearing
0 -- Smelly stuff

When putting together this table, I actually went "Wait a second, isn't there a fifth sense? I know the mental aspect isn't officially one..." Guess this explains why I have no problem what so ever to have sex in the morning after a big party when everyone is smelly and hungover. Yes, well.

An ex-boyfriend once said (quite amazed, apparently he hadn't run into a creature such as me before) that I was incredibly 'tactille' ('tactile' in English?), i.e. that I explored the world by touching stuff. This is pretty true, I do touch everything, from velvet drapes to weird-looking pebbles on the ground. Still, the 64,7% leaves me a bit shocked. :-)

To be continued in the next post as this is too heavy for LJ to handle...

Another thing I apparently have a thing for are contrasts. The smooth/hard, pain/pleasure kind of couplets. I'm suspecting the touchy-feely fetish is to blame here as well. And I also seem to be rather impatient and demanding girl, scoring 80 'more', 89 'again', 25 'need' and 24 'desperate'.

What do you mean I can't have ice-cream for breakfast?

Adjectives (other)		Nouns (other)		Adverbs etc (other)
close	103	word	48	down	144
soft	89	pleasure	39	again	89
deep	65	sensation	36	more	80
hard	64	pain	34	around	70
slow	43	thought	33	inside	53
long	42	wand	26	between	31
quick	37	need	25	along	30
firm	32	passion	24	across	29
smooth	27	potion	22	suddenly	28
low	26	another	21	slightly	26
wet	25	desire	21	together	26
desperate	24	silence	21	beneath	21
tight	24	blood	19	behind	19
sensitive	22	urgency	19	enough	19
fast	21	contact	16	gently	12
intense	20	end	16	utterly	12
small	16	heat	16
warm	16	inch	16
deadly	15	tension	16
better	14	anger	15
complete	14	position	15
final	14	release	15
actual	12	spot	14
incredible	12	water	14
cold	11	effect	13
heavy	11	power	13
beautiful	10	act/activity	12
different	10	emotion	12
free	10	fire	12
good	10	rhythm	12
sure	10	sex	12
		answer	10
		edge	10
		memory	10

And finally, there's the kinky streak.
Oh, goody, I thought I had one of those on backorder.

PLACES TO GET IT ON
(Steam it up on/in/against a...)

25 -- door
23 -- bed
20 -- floor
17 -- wall
10 -- chair
10 -- classroom
10 -- (train) compartment
7 -- room
6 -- corridor
6 -- mirror
6 -- pillow
5 -- library
5 -- table
3 -- hallway

Er. Yes.

Well, they're obviously where my characters get it on. Not me. At least not all of them (3 whole cases of unknown territory--and no, I'm not saying which :-))

And I think we'll leave it there. If you want to see the whole list, click the LJ-cuts below. Now I just need to convince my dear friend and fanfic accomplice lariopefic to post hers. :-D

In the meantime... Anyone else up for sharing and comparing?
Cheers
/Red

( All stats, part 1 )

( All stats (part 2) )

The last part...

( All stats )

Red Orchid

The Aftermath Is Secondary

Entries tagged with on verbs

Mirror, mirror on the wall, who is the nerdiest of them all? (or, On Verbs, Part Deux)

Remember the auto-composers in 1984? Yeah, this stuff is even better. :D

On Verbs

On Verbs (cont.)

On Verbs (all stats part 1)

On Verbs (all stats)

On Verbs (all stats cont.)

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