redorchids | Entries tagged with ponderings

Re: this.

( Stop it, guys. Just... stop. )

And now to the silliness:

( My future apparently. ROTFL! But hey, Patrick Stump as my future husband. \o/ )

And back to something more serious:

This is seriously the most beautiful thing I've seen in ages. Just... ♥ !

I got this idea a while back when I read this really funny choose-your-own-ending brendon-plays-truth-or-dare-and-loses-his-virginity-to-practically-everyone-on-the-label fic that I then lost the link to. (If you have the link saved, I'd love to find it again, anyway...) I love the whole choose-your-own-way-through-a-story idea, so I started drafting out a story like that together with

vicious_remarks when we were chatting one night. So far, I figure I've written about half of it (two complete branches, some other stuff) and can proudly (?) display a schmoopy letter, some Pete Wentz protective-over-Patrick-ness, some Ryden sex, some more Ryden sex and a very pissed off Spencer Smith throwing wedding rings around.

The problem with writing this kind of story is naturally that you tend to have the entire story in your head all the time and then you might not see weaknesses of each individual branch. (My outline shows 16 branches at present, and each branch needs to make a complete story that can stand on its own) And my two betas are wonderful, but having read all the different parts as well, they kind of end up with the same problem as me.

Which means I'm looking for volonteers. :-D

Want to beta read a branch for me and tell me if something doesn't make sense? I'll repay you in credit and cookies? (or fanart/drabbles/other services if you so prefer. :-))

Drop a line in the comments and I'll send you a branch to check once I finish them (might take a while, there are a lot of different paths to work on. Heh.)

I've managed to start up so many new stories in the last couple of weeks that I don't even know where I am anymore. So I could use some input on how to prioritise my writing and get some structure into finishing these.

Below are titles/concepts of my current bandom fics-in-progress together with some quote-y teasers. Tell me what you like, what you'd like to see finished etc etc. :-D

Thanks in advance, guys. Love you all. <3

1) From a Sauna In the Middle of a Forest
Summary: The guys are invited to a Swedish sauna party. Beer, naked people, beautiful lakes, nature, folklore, Swedish grammar. (Brendon/Ryan)
( Teaser )

2) Second Choices
Summary: Jon thinks he and Brendon has a thing going. Unfortunately they don't. Unrequited love!fic with Jon and Spencer bonding over the love they can't have (Jon/Spencer, Jon/Brendon, Brendon/Ryan, Ryan/Spencer)
( Teaser )

3) Decaydance Stage-Gay Chicken
Summary: Exactly what it sounds like. :-) Crossbands. Pairings galore. Mainly, they're just screwing with the fanbase, though. Not sure how much actual romance there'll be.
( Teaser )

4) Fanfic!fic
Summary: Brendon writes fanfic and manages to seduce Ryan in the process
( Teaser )

5) Pronstars!AU
Summary: Ryan works in adult entertainment. So does Brendon. Ryan is pretty much in love with him.
( Teaser )

6) The Brendon/Ryan Sextape
Summary: Directly spawned by the Friends or Ennemies interview. Sex-tapes for charity. Brendon thinks it's a great idea. (Brendon/Ryan)
( Teaser )

Oh, and then I might as well add the two ideas that jumped me when I made the fanart below: Beautiful Illusions--either a Ryan-the-magician!AU fic or a Ryan-only-exists-inside-Brendon's-head!AU fic.

What did we do before the Internet? Honestly? I know that we didn't get a computer in my house until I was fourteen and that I lived with only a modem for several years after that. But seriously? How did it work? It seems I spend nearly all my free time online these days, doing e-mails, youtubeing and image googling when I'm happy or relaxed (or just bored) and mainlining fanfic like thick ropes of heroin whenever I'm sad/overworked/angsty/tired/whatever. Because there's really no better pick-me-up than a bandom slashfic. It's just not possible not to grin like an idiot at the Spencer/Jon sun-and-puppies routine, or swoon (and grin like an idiot) over the gorgeousness that is Brendon/Ryan. So even though I find it slightly disturbing that people are out there writing fanfic on real people, these stories make me feel so much better that I just don't care anymore. Or, I care, but I'm hoping that the pretty boys in eyeliner take it as flattery and with a laugh.

Oh, and they write kick-ass music as well, I've recently discovered in my youtube escapism-antics. "Lying" is on auto-repeat in my head these days. I'm turning into a total fangirl at age 26, embarassing as it is to admit.

So yes, angst and the Internet. And sun and puppies and gorgeous, gorgeous boy teen love. Thank God for all of that when everything is dull and grey and winter is just around the corner.

I'm in love. I don't know whether it is actually possible to fall in love with something so simple as words strung together, but it seems that I definitely have. It's not the first time. My on-going love affair with fanfiction is now well into its fifth or sixth year, but until a few months ago, I figured I had it pretty much under control. Even started to write on my long-abandoned original projects again.

And then came slash!fic.

And then my brain just checked out of my head on permanent basis.

I came into fanfic on the good-ol' SS/HG ship--you know, like most young women who read way too many romance novels in their teens. Because that's what SS/HG is--the fanfic version of romance novels. (I mean, just the age-difference-thing alone. Not to mention the total imbalance of power and the Dark, Tall, Mysterious Man with a Past meets Young, Spirited, Naive Heroine aspects of it.) I still like the pairing, though I tend to see it a lot differently than I did at 18. Before I went on hiatus, the stories always ended up with the characters together (if not necessarily happy). Somehow, that doesn't happen anymore. Somehow, I can't wrap my brain around how it could all work, how I could get the characters there without twisting them into something else alltogether. The SS/HG I do now is dark, and it doesn't usually end well for Hermione, whose fictional heart I've broken several times now, without even meaning to.

And just like in Sex and the City, all the romance seems to have moved into the gay community. I don't know why, but there's such an element of joy to it, as well as freedom (which is slightly ironic considering how trapped by society the characters often are). I love the symmetry about it, the way you can leave out the romance novel storytelling tools I no longer have any patience with (like bickering, I loathe bickering--that and male/female misunderstandings). Slash is somehow easier to make real, to transform into real relationships with all their twists and turns. It's rather strange to me, but that's how it is.

And I don't get why some writers try to twist their slash pairings into a traditional male/female one (using e.g. Girl!Draco or Girl!Harry). In my head, the male/male symmetry is the whole point, though I suppose some just write slash because they find the so-called taboo of writing gay love exciting. :-)

So, yes, I'm in love. Totally and completely.
What can I say? The boys are just so very pretty...

So, I've been writing up a storm lately. Seven stories in no more than a couple of months. Crazy. Yes, I know. After nearly four years of nothing, here I am again, head spinning with ideas faster than I can pen them down. It's all a rollercoaster in a way, a wheel spinning a bit too fast, and my life struggling to keep up. Incredibly satisfying, yes, but putting me in this state of a-little-too-tense all the time, keeping me on a nearly constant high.

I've said it before. Fanfic really is digital heroin.

And I've been away too long, it seems, or fandom has moved on, or something else has happened. I'm not a semi-celebrity anymore. My stories now score around 2 000 reads (on Ashwinder) instead of nearly 20 000, and reviews have dwindled down from the hundreds to a measley few. And yes, I feel like a brat for caring, but it does bug me. Especially since the stories I've written lately are so much better than the ones that came before. I have actual plot development now, dammit. And friggin' timelines. And proper commatation (thanks to TPP :-)).

The reviews I get are still raving, though, and in a way, this is even worse--like the crumbs of a table that makes me aware of there being a whole sea of love out there, and I just need to find the docks to put my boat in. But how do you make a name for yourself again when people have moved on and forgotten who you are? How do you reconcile the desperate hunger for approval with the pride that makes you not want to beg for people to pimp you? And how do you deal with swallowing your disappointment when you do beg, and no pimping ensues?

More competitions, maybe. I'll look into that.

Current Mood: slightly dark and depressed

Hello y'all,

A pretty long time ago, theohara did this funny, funny post on word choices in fanfic. If you haven't read it, you definitely should. ( http://theohara.livejournal.com/203973.html)

Anyway, ever since she did that, I've been wanting to check my own stories. And yesterday, I finally did.

So, I copy-pasted all my love scenes (along with some of the heavier make-out sessions) into a nice, long text file and ran it through Word Count Machine 2.5.1 (which was a bit crappy since I was only willing to get the free demo version and didn't get the nice export to Excell feature). Out came all sorts of interesting information.

For easier view, I combined entries for similar words (hand/hands, eye/eyes/eyelash/eyebrow, touch/touched/touching and so on), took away all the grammatical ones (such as 'the') and excluded all entries that appeared less than 10 times. Since there were about 3300 different words in my search, I narrowed it down into categories as well.

Ok, here we go!

BODIES & PARTS
(words related to...)

401 -- Mouth, breath, voice
363 -- Hands, fingers, arms
354 -- Face and neck
259 -- Whole body, skin
150 -- Eyes
116 -- Upper body
110 -- Legs and feet
19 -- Naughty parts

So, yes. 92,7% of all nouns relating to the body are waist-up. Guess we can leave the whole 'ass or face'-debate for solved, then. This is actually rather scary in all its Freudian revelations. And while we're on the revealing track...

SEDUCTION OF THE SENSES
(Verbs related to the 5 senses + 1)

1935 -- Touchy feely
537 -- Taste, speech and oral sensations
363 -- Mental seduction
152 -- Eye candy
30 -- Hearing
0 -- Smelly stuff

When putting together this table, I actually went "Wait a second, isn't there a fifth sense? I know the mental aspect isn't officially one..." Guess this explains why I have no problem what so ever to have sex in the morning after a big party when everyone is smelly and hungover. Yes, well.

An ex-boyfriend once said (quite amazed, apparently he hadn't run into a creature such as me before) that I was incredibly 'tactille' ('tactile' in English?), i.e. that I explored the world by touching stuff. This is pretty true, I do touch everything, from velvet drapes to weird-looking pebbles on the ground. Still, the 64,7% leaves me a bit shocked. :-)

To be continued in the next post as this is too heavy for LJ to handle...

Another thing I apparently have a thing for are contrasts. The smooth/hard, pain/pleasure kind of couplets. I'm suspecting the touchy-feely fetish is to blame here as well. And I also seem to be rather impatient and demanding girl, scoring 80 'more', 89 'again', 25 'need' and 24 'desperate'.

What do you mean I can't have ice-cream for breakfast?

Adjectives (other)		Nouns (other)		Adverbs etc (other)
close	103	word	48	down	144
soft	89	pleasure	39	again	89
deep	65	sensation	36	more	80
hard	64	pain	34	around	70
slow	43	thought	33	inside	53
long	42	wand	26	between	31
quick	37	need	25	along	30
firm	32	passion	24	across	29
smooth	27	potion	22	suddenly	28
low	26	another	21	slightly	26
wet	25	desire	21	together	26
desperate	24	silence	21	beneath	21
tight	24	blood	19	behind	19
sensitive	22	urgency	19	enough	19
fast	21	contact	16	gently	12
intense	20	end	16	utterly	12
small	16	heat	16
warm	16	inch	16
deadly	15	tension	16
better	14	anger	15
complete	14	position	15
final	14	release	15
actual	12	spot	14
incredible	12	water	14
cold	11	effect	13
heavy	11	power	13
beautiful	10	act/activity	12
different	10	emotion	12
free	10	fire	12
good	10	rhythm	12
sure	10	sex	12
		answer	10
		edge	10
		memory	10

And finally, there's the kinky streak.
Oh, goody, I thought I had one of those on backorder.

PLACES TO GET IT ON
(Steam it up on/in/against a...)

25 -- door
23 -- bed
20 -- floor
17 -- wall
10 -- chair
10 -- classroom
10 -- (train) compartment
7 -- room
6 -- corridor
6 -- mirror
6 -- pillow
5 -- library
5 -- table
3 -- hallway

Er. Yes.

Well, they're obviously where my characters get it on. Not me. At least not all of them (3 whole cases of unknown territory--and no, I'm not saying which :-))

And I think we'll leave it there. If you want to see the whole list, click the LJ-cuts below. Now I just need to convince my dear friend and fanfic accomplice lariopefic to post hers. :-D

In the meantime... Anyone else up for sharing and comparing?
Cheers
/Red

( All stats, part 1 )

( All stats (part 2) )

The last part...

( All stats )

from beccaelizabeth (via theohara)

The Fictional Character Who-Would-You-Shag Meme
because some of us basically wouldn't the actors.

If you'd shag them put the name in bold.
If you'd shag them after a few drinks put the name in italics. (metaphor drinks, as in 'maybe could be persuaded')
If you wouldn't shag or don't know who they are, leave as is.
If you wouldn't shag them at gunpoint, ~~cross the name out.~~

After going through the list I feel it is important to note - shag, not have a relationship with. The list would look different if it included having to talk to them. Some whiny people are pretty.

Add one or more character names and/or fandoms of your own. Once the list gets long enough to be unwieldy (use your judgment) start removing one name for every name you add.

I removed anything non BtvS/Angel related since I didn't know who the rest of the dudes were. A bit too obsessed maybe... :-)

Buffy Summers (NO. Even if I don't have to talk to her.)
Willow Rosenberg (something about a redhead)
Xander Harris (about five beers, I'd wager)
Rupert Giles (anytime)
~~Cordelia Chase~~ (A bitchy brunette. No way)
~~Joyce Summers~~
Spike (many, many times... aw, a girl can dream, can't she?)
Darla (I really like blondes, plus she's cool in a cruel way)
~~Drusilla~~ (No friggin' way! Cordelia with exra crazy. Not a good mental picture)
Ethan Rayne (nah, not really)
Daniel "Oz" Osbourne (too short)
Anya Jenkins (That would be loads of fun. Especially the way she looked in S4.)
~~Riley Finn~~ (Way, WAY too goody two-shoes)
Tara Maclay (Almost as much as Spike. God, what a threesome!)
~~Andrew Wells~~ (LOL LOL LOL LOL)
~~Kennedy~~ (Cordelia squared with a side dish of brat. No way in hell)
Faith (Girl looks good, what can I say...)
Angel (As Spike would put it: "wanker".)
Allen Francis Doyle (Sure, with a few drinks)
Wesley Wyndam-Pryce The cool Angel version
~~Wesley Wyndam-Pryce~~ The wimpy Buffy version
Charles Gunn (bold type if he's wearing a suit)
Lorne (nah, green's not really my colour)
Fred Burkle (No. Too skinny and girlie)
~~Connor~~ (We can't all go for the cradle robbing, now can we?)
Illyria (Nah. More shagworthy than Fred though.)
Lindsey MacDonald (Without the tattoos that is)
~~Lilah Morgan~~ (Are you kidding me? See Cordelia category.)

Ok, that was fun. Makes me wonder about my sexual orientation though... hmmm...

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Serious stuff and completely silly stuff
So I'm working on a small project...
Okay, I need a little bit of help here
Angst and the Internet
Total addiction
The giant black hole that is my review-hunger
On Verbs
On Verbs (cont.)
On Verbs (all stats part 1)
On Verbs (all stats)
On Verbs (all stats cont.)
Another funny thing I fell upon

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Red Orchid

The Aftermath Is Secondary

Entries tagged with ponderings

Serious stuff and completely silly stuff

So I'm working on a small project...

Okay, I need a little bit of help here

Angst and the Internet

Total addiction

The giant black hole that is my review-hunger

On Verbs

On Verbs (cont.)

On Verbs (all stats part 1)

On Verbs (all stats)

On Verbs (all stats cont.)

Another funny thing I fell upon