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Chapter 12 - Discoveries
Knock, knock, knock
"Hermione, are you in there?" The voice made Hermione groan and roll over on her back, starting to make her way off the bed and looking around for something to cover her body with.
"Now what?" she sighed, snatching up a bath robe from the floor and sitting up as she put it on.
"Another oh-so-sensitive Gryffindor in desperate demand of your attention, no doubt," Snape's voice came in sarcastic tones from the other side of the bed. She smiled and looked back at him.
"You should leave then." She leaned back down and placed a swift kiss on his mouth. "Will I see you during the day?"
"No."
"No?" She stroked him playfully across the chest, letting her hand move gradually lower.
"As I said last night, I have a little something in mind...planned for this evening actually..." He moved his own hand inside her bath robe and caressed a breast casually.
”Hermione?!”
"We'll finish this discussion later," she whispered as she gave his earlobe a last nibble and rolled off the bed.
***
"Hi Harry, what's up?" She remained in the doorway, wanting to keep her friend from coming into her chambers. Oddly enough, she got the feeling that Harry was doing the exact same thing.
"Hi..." He looked at her with a somewhat confused expression. "I'm sorry, I didn't realise... I thought you would have been up for hours - studying you know..." He took a step closer to her and tilted his head to the side, looking intently at her. "Are you alright? You look... I don't know... different somehow..." He raised a hand to move some curls out of her face.
The second his hand made contact with her face, she felt a surge of magic go through her. She could tell that he'd felt it too from the way he gasped and quickly withdrew his hand. He held it up between them, and they were equally shocked at the fact that a faint golden light shone around his long fingers.
"Hermione, what's going on?" he almost whispered, a tremor in his voice.
"I- I have no idea," she stuttered, eyes wide. Slowly, she raised her own hand and put her palm next to his, not quite daring to make contact.
"You feel that?"
"I feel like my own hand is pulling away from my body to get closer to yours."
"Exactly, just hold still for a while."
"Harry, I don't know if I can do that, I - oh!" She let out a gasp as the faint light that had surrounded his hand grew stronger and started to encircle hers as well. Harry's eyes showed great concentration as he slowly moved his hand half an inch closer to hers, then further away, then closer again. The light responded to his movements, growing stronger or weaker in proportion to the distance between their hands.
"Hermione, relax. Work the magic with me," he whispered as he moved his hand closer, finally making contact with her bare skin.
They both closed their eyes as the connection was activated. Streams of power surged through them, travelling from one to the other through the connected hands. Without realising what she was doing, Hermione raised her other hand and found that Harry had done the same. The magic changed direction and started following the circle created by their bodies, gathering speed as it went. It was like the power she'd felt when Harry had kissed her in the hospital wing, only this time, it was a thousand times stronger. She tilted her head back, giving in completely to the sensations as the power seemed to cleanse her, filling her with pure, blissful, shimmering light. She could feel her heart, a strong, confident beat that made the power pulsate in sync. A soft musical tune started to fill her ears, like the song of some magical bird, heard from afar.
"Hermione, open your eyes." Harry's voice seemed to come from inside her head.
She did and let out a soft gasp. The golden light had grown and was now covering both of them like a golden dome, and in the centre of the circle formed by their arms, a pillar of shimmering light was forming, growing more solid with every minute, sparkling in all the colours of the rainbow. She could see the wonder in Harry's eyes as the pillar grew taller, reaching now above their heads.
Suddenly, Hermione felt a different kind of surge go through her, like an icy wind, robbing her of her body's warmth. The pillar started to sway, destabilised and the light around her own body grew fainter, as did the sound and feel of her heart beating in her chest. An impulse of fear made her let go of Harry's hands and take a step back from him. The pillar immediately vanished and the golden light began to quickly fade.
For a long time, they just stared at each other in wonder, not noticing that someone else crossed the threshold from the bedroom and came to a halt behind a tall, potted plant...
***
Ron Weasley had spent most of the night thinking, sleep refusing to come to him. He'd knocked on Hermione's door for quite some time before giving up, figuring that she'd probably put a Silencing Charm on it to be left alone (that was the message after all - heck, she'd even spelled it out to him in red letters). Her absence at dinner was not too surprising either, considering her state of mind when they'd split up.
He'd gone over their row again and again in his mind and tried to analyse it, tried to find an explanation to why she'd reacted the way she had. In retrospect, he figured that he'd been a bit of a git, and that he'd said a couple of things that weren't perhaps the most sensitive things to say. He'd let his temper carry him away and he regretted it, cursing himself for lashing out at people he should have known she would want to protect - like Neville. Hermione had always been a sort of advocate for the weak, with the ridiculous SPEW as the most prominent example. She just couldn't take a step back and see things for what they were, that the world just wasn't perfect and that there was little you could do about it.
He still felt that, though he might have exaggerated a wee bit, he'd been essentially honest and spoken the truth. Alright, so perhaps he'd been a bit unfair to Neville, the bloke had made a lot of progress in the last year and he'd handled himself well at the botched rescue attempt at the Department of Mysteries the year before. Still, he wasn't that good-looking and he really couldn't see even Hermione, with her idealistic heart, actually dating him. Some Hufflepuff girl maybe, but not his Hermione. As for the things he'd said about McGonagall and Snape, he felt they were basically stating the obvious. Ok, so it hadn't been that nice, especially since he knew how much she looked up to her Transfiguration professor, but he just hadn't been able to help himself. He really didn't want Hermione to turn into that kind of stiff, strict and sexless woman. Sure, McGonagall was brilliant and a good teacher, but that was all she was. When would Hermione realise that there was more to life than books and, well, more books? He wanted her back as his girlfriend, and he wanted her to enjoy it when he touched her, instead of turning into ice in his arms...
One comment that had refused to leave him alone was when she'd said that she enjoyed kissing, just not with him. That had been a cruel blow and he'd spent hours mulling it over. He'd basically decided that it had just been something she'd said to hurt him, as he really couldn't see when she'd had a possibility to kiss someone else. Sure, he'd thought about Viktor Krum, but the idea of Hermione kissing the grouchy git and enjoying it was plain laughable. His mind had touched the possibility of Neville, but he'd suppressed it, because first of all, Neville wouldn't dare kiss a girl in the first place, and secondly, he was way too honourable to actually make a pass at another guy's girlfriend. A big blow had been dealt this conclusion during dinner, where he'd overheard some whispering rumours about Neville, Hermione and a broom closet, but after confronting Neville, who'd said that he'd just comforted Hermione because she was upset, he'd managed to put it out of his mind, in spite of Neville's reluctance to elaborate on the subject.
So, after a night of uneasy dreams, he'd decided that he needed to talk to Hermione, apologise for some of the things he'd said and get her back as his girlfriend. He'd make her see that she belonged with him and that their relationship would work out. He wanted to catch her before breakfast, and since the doors to her chambers were all locked and she might still be in an angry mood, he picked up his broom, opened the window and kicked off into the cold air.
He circled the tower, looking through windows in search of the Head Girl chambers. He managed to give some third-years quite a start as he peeped into their dormitory, but then found his way without problem. He rounded the tower and saw that Hermione's bedroom window was open. Good, that meant he wouldn't have to break down her wards, something he'd been worrying about as they were usually unbreakable. He landed smoothly on her window sill and jumped soundlessly to the floor.
Looking around the room, his first observation was that there was nobody there. Disappointed, he started to walk towards the living room, when something caught his eye. There was an empty bottle of wine and two goblets on the bedside table. He walked closer. Two goblets? He looked more closely at the bed and saw that the sheets were rumpled and there was a soft indention in the mattress, not in the middle, but on both sides. The pillows were equally bewildering, giving the distinct impression of two people having slept on them... He noted a few strands of curly, brown hair on the one to the right - Hermione's hair. Walking over to the other side, he bent down and studied the second crumpled pillow closely. Black hair. Straight black hair. He straightened up and looked around the room again. Two goblets, two towels thrown on the floor, excessively rumpled sheets, black hair on one of the pillows...
"Harry," he whispered to himself in horror and quickly stepped away from the bed.
***
He was still staring at the bed in shock when he heard a sound coming from the other room. Casting a Disillusionment Charm on himself, he quietly slid through the door and hid behind a tall, potted plant. Hermione and Harry were at the door, standing very close, apparently lost in each other's eyes. It made him want to puke. From his position behind the plant, he couldn't really make out their facial expressions, (not to mention that Hermione was standing with her back to him) but he could all too well hear the words that now broke the silence.
"Hermione, I really don't want to leave you like this, but I have to go." God, Harry really sounded awfully sorry, Ron thought bitterly.
"Do you really? Don't you think we should talk about this?" He could almost see her imploring eyes before him.
"Oh, for sure, it's just... this is so overwhelming. I need a little bit of time to sort out all these new feelings, you know."
"They're not exactly new, are they? I mean, we felt it before... that night -"
"...in the hospital wing, yes I know." Ron watched in horror as Harry took yet another step closer and seemed to be stroking Hermione's hair gently before stepping back again. "I never imagined that it would lead to this though..."
"Me neither." Her voice was breathless. "I knew there was something special about us ever since that kiss, but this..." Her voiced trailed off as she lifted a hand to softly caress his face. "This is so much more, something I never could have foreseen..."
"I know what you mean. I'm still half in shock actually... Who would have thought that you and I... it just seems so unlikely." Ron felt weaker with every passing minute, not knowing how much more he could take, but still incapable of moving away.
"and still, it makes sense, in a weird way... It just feels so right..."
"It does. It was just so powerful, I felt that I lost all control but was still completely in control, you know... It doesn't make sense..."
"No, it doesn't, but I understand. I felt the same way."
"I didn't hurt you, did I?" Harry suddenly looked worried. "You feeling ok?" Hermione's soft laughter struck Ron like a curse in the chest.
"Hurt me? Anything but! Harry, I feel wonderful." Ron couldn't see her smile, but saw the reaction on Harry's face and felt even worse. He needed to get out of there. Fast.
"In that case, perhaps we should explore this a bit more. Meet me later?" Ron was halfway out the door as he heard Harry say this and hastened his steps.
"Count on it," were the last words he caught before crossing the bedroom, grabbing his broom and soaring out the window, flying away from the castle at breakneck speed.
He flew over lakes, forests and moors, not caring where his broom took him as long as it took him away from the horrible ache in his chest. After several hours, he landed on a small plateau, high up on a mountain side, similar to the one to which he'd taken Hermione, except this one was smaller and had a small cave instead of a frozen waterfall. He toppled off his broom and collapsed on the ground, not caring about the snow that wet his robes or the cold wind that made him shiver slightly. Curling up into a ball, he leaned against the cool cave wall and looked out at the gorgeous view that now seemed to have lost all its beauty.
Betrayed. The word kept going through his mind, eating away at his heart and soul. His best friend and his girlfriend, his two best friends since he started Hogwarts, the people he'd trusted more than anybody in the world. Betrayed. The horrible scene he'd witnessed replayed itself before his eyes, over and over until he thought he'd go mad. As soon as he closed his eyes, he saw the bed before him, picturing them in it, making love on those rumpled sheets, feeding each other wine from the gleaming goblets... He broke into gulping sobs and hit his head against the stone until the pain in his head overcame the one in his chest. Sagging against the wall, he cried silently until the combined pain in his heart and head made him slip away into merciful blackness.
Chapter 13 - The Room of Requirement
Hermione had a hard time concentrating during her Advanced Transfiguration class that morning. The mystery of the magical light she'd experienced with Harry refused to leave way for more practical thoughts, and she could tell that Professor McGonagall was less pleased with her than usual. For once, she longed for the class to end so that she could make her way to the library for some research. She had a distinct feeling that the pillar of light meant something important, but she couldn't remember having ever read about anything similar happening... or had she? She strained her mind, searching her memory. Harry's hand brushed lightly against hers under the desk, making it tingle pleasantly.
"I'm not getting anywhere either." His voice wasn't especially low and she quickly glanced up at McGonagall, who usually was very strict about talking in her class. She didn't seem to have noticed. Harry met her eyes.
"Pretty cool, isn't it?" He wasn't moving his lips, and her eyes widened as she realised that his voice had been coming from inside her own head.
"How do you do that?" She quickly looked back to her parchment as McGonagall turned her head towards them.
"Through the connection, I think." He linked his index finger to hers in a little hook. "Let's see..." He let go of her hand, then looked at her expectantly. She shook her head slightly and he took her finger again.
"Only through physical contact then," he confirmed in her head. A frightening thought suddenly hit her.
"Harry, can you read my mind even when I'm not, well, 'talking' to you?" She felt tense, waiting for his answer.
"Well, kind of. I mean, I could follow your thoughts when you were going through all those books, but most is pretty hazy... There's something you don't wish me to see, something important to you... I can feel your resistance..." His voice in her head stopped abruptly as she pulled her hand away from his.
The rest of the class passed in silence.
***
Hermione spent the lunch break in the library, looking through numerous volumes on light, mental connections, pillars and anything she could think of. Nothing. On her way to Care of Magical Creatures, she felt a bit depressed and wondered if she would ever find anything. If there was anything in the library, it was bound to be in the restricted section, and since Lockhart was no longer a member of the staff, the chance of her getting in there was pretty slim. And just where was Harry, by the way? Shouldn't he have been helping her with the research?
Just then, Harry came into view, walking with hurried steps towards her, eyes shining from excitement or apprehension, she couldn't quite tell. They met and he ushered her to follow him.
"But Harry, what about class?" she asked, as he grabbed her robes and almost dragged her with him towards the castle.
"Don't worry, I had a quick word with Hagrid, and they're just continuing last week's lesson. I'm sure Ron can fill us in later. This is more important." He was almost running now, taking her up flight after flight of stairs.
"Harry, wait, where are we going?" she panted, having a hard time keeping up with his sprint up the stairs.
"Room of Requirement," was his short answer and she felt like a light had been turned on over her head. Of course. They wouldn't find what they needed in the library, so what could then be better than to look in the room which would solve the problem for them?
When they reached the seventh floor corridor, Harry took her hand and she felt the now familiar jolt of power surge through her. They walked passed the hidden entrance three times, concentrating fully on their connection and their need to find out what it meant. After the third turn, they opened their eyes, which widened in wonder at the graceful, golden portal that had opened in the wall. Without hesitation, they walked inside.
***
The room was very different now from the room they'd grown used to during the DA meetings. It was smaller, for one thing, and circular. The ceiling was very high, and tall, many-paned painted windows followed the circular form, between which pink roses climbed on the white walls. The floor was marble, gleaming softly in the multi-coloured light from the windows, and soft, silk pillows lay invitingly in little heaps along the wall.
In the centre of the room was a raised platform, on which four pillars formed the base of a square table. On the table, resting in a soft, golden light, which seemed to come from nowhere and everywhere at once, was a thick, leather-bound book.
They walked towards it, not speaking, raising a hand at the exact same time. They could feel each other's hesitations, hear the warnings in the other's head. Still, they continued, both feeling drawn to the book, noting how the golden light that shone around their hands grew stronger as they drew closer, the book calling out to something unknown, deep inside them. They both felt something when they reached out to touch the deep-red leather, tracing the golden letters with trembling fingers as they made out the title:
MAGICA ARS LUCIS ANIMO
In unspoken agreement, they opened the book and watched, in astonishment, how the pages flipped of their own accord, until they stopped and the book lay still. They started to read, transfixed, leaning closer to each other and feeling how the text in the book seemed to flow into them with the light.
"Lux Cognitionis," Hermione whispered, almost in awe.
"The Light of Knowledge," Harry echoed, stepping closer and putting his arm around her waist.
They stood like that for a long time, letting the knowledge of the book enter into their memories. When the book closed, Hermione tried to open it again, to read the sections they hadn't yet seen, and gasped - the pages were blank.
"Come," Harry was tugging at her hand, indicating the pile of pillows over at the wall, "we need to talk."
She nodded in mute consent and let him lead her over to the mass of silk.
"Are you hungry?" A low silver table appeared and filled itself with food at the words. She shook her head, still too shocked to speak.
"Wow, I don't think I've ever seen you this way," Harry chuckled softly, helping himself to some gooey chocolate cake. She finally found her voice.
"Well, you must agree it comes as something of a shock," she said, looking up at him. "Harry, this is very serious." The smile died on his face.
"I know. I don't know how to feel about this. I'd accepted that it would all come down to me, you know? I guess I'd pictured some sort of duel in my head, only Voldemort and I in some kind of deserted place, with all the people I love safe and out of the way..." He broke off, looking away from her.
"It might still be that way, Harry. We don't know how the fight is going to end, only that this has a part to play in it." She put her hand into his hair and turned his head back towards her. "To tell you the truth, I'm glad about this. I'm glad to know that I'll be by your side then..." She smiled weakly, trying to hide the fear that was rising inside her.
"Yeah," he hugged her shoulders gently, "Yeah, I'm glad you'll be there too. You and Ron."
"Ron?" The question was out of her mouth before she could stop it. He looked back at her, quizzically.
"Well yeah, I just assumed..." He broke off at her pained expression. "What? You mean he won’t-"
"No Harry, I don't think he will. I'd want him to be, I really would, but somehow, I don't think the magic means for it to work out that way." She had tears in her eyes now. "God, this is all so confusing! The book is a giant riddle, and yet I have this feeling, like I understand exactly what it means, without being able to explain it..."
"Ok, hang on, let's take this from the beginning." He looked at her with a serious look in his eyes. "Why don't you summarise what this magical ritual is all about, it spins my head to think about it."
She nodded, grateful that he would give her some time, and feeling more comfortable now that she got to put her mind to work. She drew a deep breath and began her recital.
"Well, from what I understand, the phenomenon is called the Pila Lucis (Pillar of Light) and is part of an ancient magical branch of Light and Heart Magic. The Pillar creates a strong, magical light which overcomes all darkness, though the details about just how it defeats said darkness - which I hope means Voldemort in our case by the way - are unclear. The Pillar can only be conjured under very specific circumstances, with the connection of the Two, the Four and the Three, and-"
"Yeah, stop for a second there." What did all those numbers mean? I guess you and I would be the Two, but who are the Three and the Four?" Hermione looked at him, her eyes puzzled.
"I don't know exactly. Let's see... what did the text say...?" She closed her eyes and repeated some verses from the book, which seemed to have etched itself permanently to their memories.
"When One and One, of Heart and Mind,
Unite in true, unselfish love,
They form a bond, a golden glove,
A Light which always they shall find.
When Two connect, the Light will bring,
Strength and hope and quell all fear,
But not until all Four are near,
Shall Love and Essence truly sing.
For One shall need its Other,
In Essence and Nature alike,
Two and Two'll fulfil the bargain,
Which Two alone could never strike.
The Elements will come together,
The double circle shall be complete,
The outer bonds'll provide the fuel,
For Mind and Heart to fully meet.
The Three, provided by the Four,
And channelled through the central Two,
Three couples, two pairs, a unity will conjure,
The Light that'll shine forever more."
They both sat quiet for a while, pondering these words. Then Hermione got the familiar "I-think-I'm-on-to-something!"-gleam in her eyes, reached for a quill and some parchment in her bag and started scribbling frantically. Harry helped himself to some more cake, watching her. She was the best on this sort of thing and he had no doubts that she would solve the riddle.
Some time and a few caramel snaps later, she looked up, a mixed expression in her eyes.
"Harry, I think I've figured it out, at least some of it..."
"So tell." He leaned forwards, expectantly.
"Well, the 'One and One of Heart and Mind' is probably referring to you and me - you being the heart and I being the mind. The 'golden glove' is the light that appears every time our hands connect, and the 'light' I think refers to both the physical light that appears around us and the emotional light we feel when we're, well, close." She blushed a little.
"Ok, that makes sense. I got that one too. What about the second part though? It sounds like the magic should be different if we're alone or with these two other people, but..."
"I think that's true," she interrupted. "In the hospital wing, we were alone and then we only felt - or at least I did - a sort of emotional connection, like good, cleansing energy going through us. There was no light, not visible at least, right?"
"To tell you the truth, I couldn't give you a certain answer. I was so thrown by the whole experience I doubt that I would have noticed if Hagrid had pirouetted through the room wearing a tutu." She smiled at this. "But you're probably right. There wasn't any light today in Transfiguration either. McGonagall would have noticed."
"There was when we walked up to the book though..."
"Could have been caused by the book itself and the closeness to its magic though, right?"
"Yes, probably..." She was biting her lip in concentration, trying to put two and two together. Then suddenly:
"Harry, was Ginny with you in your chambers this morning?" She watched as her friend went red and looked down, avoiding her eyes.
"Yes... she came down last night and said that we needed to talk, and - well - we talked... and stuff..." Hermione couldn't help letting out a giggle.
"And stuff? Harry, I don't blame you. Ginny can be rather persistent when she decides she wants something. I'm happy for you." She smiled at him and he smiled back.
"'Love and Essence truly sing'... Harry, this morning, did you hear some strange music, like a bird singing?"
"Yeah, Phoenix song. It was very strong."
"See, for me it was quite weak, and the main thing I heard was my heart beating."
"Seems like we had some sort of mirror experience. Hey, if I'm 'the Heart' shouldn't it have been I who heard the heartbeat stronger than the song?"
"I don't know... you've always been connected to the phoenix, it's a part of you... it's-" She broke off and just looked at him. "Harry, your wand, it's a phoenix feather, right?"
"Yes, same as Voldemort’s."
"So is Ginny's! Not from the same phoenix, but still. Harry, my wand is dragon heartstring! It all fits! The 'essence' is referring to the wands we carry, which is an indication of our magical essence. Then 'nature' must be the 'mind and heart'-thing, Ginny is definitely a 'heart' too... so she's your 'Other', same in nature and essence!"
Harry looked like he'd say something, but she kept going, excited that the pieces were falling into place.
"So, you and me are the 'One' and the 'One', the 'Mind and Heart' making the 'Two'. Ginny is your 'Other', and together with my 'Other', we make the 'Four'. When the 'Two', i.e. you and me are physically connected and the other two are near, we can activate the magic and create the pillar of light. Harry! It all makes sense! This morning, when the pillar lost its balance, I felt as though part of my power was leaving me. That must have been when he left through the Floo! The 'fuel', the 'fuel' is desire, that's what the 'Others' bring to the bond - desire! The 'Three' is the ancient combination of Mind, Heart and Body, or Mind, Courage and Desire, which makes a system complete! It's-"
"Whoa! Hermione! Slow down a bit. You're rambling!" Harry grabbed her shoulders and gave her a little shake. "Slowly please. Ok, so first of all, if Ginny is my Other, then who's yours? I thought you and Ron were dating?" He looked at her, a guarded gleam in his eyes. She felt very uncomfortable.
"We're not. We only went on that one date and it didn't go too well..." She lowered her eyes. "And then we had a horrible row yesterday afternoon. It's all over."
"Hey, look at me. What happened? I thought you were crazy about him?" He tilted her chin up. "Did he do something stupid?"
"No, not really. I guess I just realised that I was more in love with the thought of being in love than I was in love with him, you know? When he kissed me, it just didn't feel right... I don't know. I really wanted it to work, but it just wouldn't!" She felt tears of frustration rising to her eyes and Harry's hand, patting her back reassuringly. "I guess I always figured that love would work out the way I wanted it too, that I could control it if I tried hard enough. Boy, was I wrong about that!" She gave a sound that was somewhere between a laugh and a sob. Harry pulled her closer.
"So who is it then? It can't be Neville either, he's got unicorn hair in his wand, just like Ron. The only other person I know with a dragon heartstring wand is Viktor Krum... it's not him, is it?" he exclaimed in a shocked voice.
"No Harry, it's not Viktor. He's in Bulgaria playing Quidditch as far as I know, I haven't heard from him in months." She thought about her former, well, she guessed she could call him "boyfriend", and something suddenly struck her - a likeness to someone else, his face melting into the similar features of another face... God! How could she have failed to see it back then? She laughed a little, realising how far back her attraction to the Potions Master actually went. Then she made her decision: Harry had to know, this wasn't just about them anymore, she couldn't hide Snape's identity from him, not when something this important was at stake...
"You know, Harry, your guess isn't that bad," she said, looking him deep in the eyes. He looked completely bewildered by this comment and she just couldn't bear telling him outright. Instead, she took his hand in hers, closed her eyes and opened her mind for him to read. Tears ran down her cheeks as she wordlessly guided him through the last week's events, holding nothing back.
When she reached the memory of the pool, he pulled his hand away and her eyes flew open as he sprang to his feet, backing away a little. He looked a little sick.
"Harry, please understand," she pleaded "Please don't hate me!"
"Hate you? How could I hate you, Hermione? You’re my best friend!"
"So what's-"
"I hate him!" he shouted, "I didn't think it could get any worse, but this! This! He's using you, Hermione! Using you! He's your teacher! You're sixteen years old! He should go to Azkaban for this! It's disgusting!" He looked like he was about to gag.
She too stood up, approaching him, trying to calm him down but he pulled away.
"Don't! I don't want to see anymore! I could forgive you for using the potion you know, and the mess it created with Ron and me, oh, and I guess Neville too, eh? But this is just too much! You've been sleeping with Snape! And still you went around pretending to be Ron's girlfriend! What was he to you? A safety net? Planning to have a nice bloke as your respectable boyfriend by day and your filthy, randy, breaking-the-law lover by night? How could you possibly ask me to understand this?!!!" His voice was getting hoarse from screaming and Hermione felt tears streaming down her face.
"Harry, I didn't want this to happen, believe me, I didn't! I didn't plan any of this! Things just got out of hand so fast..."
"Yeah, I could see that! Christ, Hermione! How can you stand being near him? He practically raped you on that desk!"
"Oh really? Well, last time I checked, one of the parties has to be actually unwilling for it to count as rape! So unless he was the one getting violated, it wasn't even close! I wanted him Harry! I didn't know it until he came down on top of me, but believe me when I say that I've never wanted anything as intensely as I wanted him right then!"
A tense silence filled the room at her last words, and they both stood perfectly still, a few feet apart, eyeing each other warily.
"When I came back from my date with Ron, I'd decided to end things with Snape." Her voice was low now, almost a whisper. "I'd made the decision because it was the right thing to do, the better choice, or so I thought. I thought I could make myself love Ron the way he deserves to be loved, the way any nice guy deserves to be loved. Then I realised that I couldn't get out of the thing with Snape, not until the week had passed - I showed you why - and I decided that I'd start again with Ron when the whole mess was over and done with. I really wanted to be honest and do the right thing. Sneaking around like this has been killing me."
"So why did you break up with Ron? The potion loses its effect tomorrow." He too had stopped shouting and she could see how he did his best to control his anger.
"Because I realised that it was the right thing to do. It wouldn't be fair of me to start dating Ron, Harry, not when I'm in love with - somebody else..."
Harry looked like he'd been hit by a Bludger.
"You love him?!" He looked absolutely incredulous. "You mean this isn't just some sick, kinky, sex-thing? You actually love the man?"
"Yes, I do." She held her head high. "And I won't apologise for it, either. I know that it's wrong on so many levels but I can't help it. I really do love him."
"How? The only people I know that are more unpleasant are the two Malfoys and Voldemort, and at least the Malfoys are somewhat attractive..." Hermione sighed.
"I don't know. There's just something in me that connects. I feel close to him, closer than I've ever felt to anyone, and we don't even know each other very well. He makes me feel... alive, like I have something other than a brain to bring to the party-"
"Like your body? How nice of him to pay attention to it," Harry interrupted, sarcasm dripping from his words.
"Well, nobody else seems to notice," she responded icily. "And for your information, it's not just about sex, at least not for me, even though he's good enough in bed to make me - Hermione Granger, Hogwarts' bookworm extraordinaire - want to skive off lessons so that I could stay in bed with him all day." She smiled at his shocked expression. "You know, when he touches me, I-"
"I don't want to know! It's Snape! It's sick! I really don't want to know! Please, shut up!"
"Ok, I will - if you stop screaming at me. There's nothing you can do to change the fact that I love him and considering what we've just discovered in that book, I think you should take a moment to consider that this thing, relationship, affair - whatever you want to call it - between me and Snape might be what gives you enough force to destroy Voldemort in the end. Consider that for a second and calm down." She went back to the stack of pillows and sat down, picking up a handful of grapes and eating them slowly, only then realising how hungry she was.
"Hermione, you're right. I'm sorry that I yelled at you." She could hear, quite plainly, that his heart wasn’t in the apology. Harry sank down beside her and she tried to smile.
"Don't worry about it. I guess it's rather shocking news." He laughed at that, a bitter, stale laugh that clearly said that he wasn’t anywhere closer to accept her and Snape than he’d been a minute ago.
"To say the least. Alright, so let's get back to the book and the magic,” he said, clearly wanting to change the subject. His face was still very pale and his jaw was tightly clenched. She sighed and reached for her parchment and quill. “What about the 'The Elements shall come together'-bit?"
"Well, since it's ancient magic, it makes sense for it to be tied to the four elements,” she said carefully, not wanting him to lose his temper again. “I'd guess we each represent one. Snape's probably wind, because I felt a cool wind go through me when he left and the pillar lost its balance, and he is really hard to get a grip on, very slippery and quite inconsistent, I think. Logically, I should be water, because water goes with wind and I keep a cool head more often than both you and Ginny." She smiled at him. "So that would leave Fire and Earth for the two of you. What do you think?"
"Well, I think Ginny is the fierier of us... hang on! Isn't Earth usually pictured as feminine?"
"It is."
"Well, maybe you should be Earth then, calm and fertile and safe and all that. I could be water, I'm pretty cool, and deep, and oh, I can be stormy sometimes!" She could tell he was desperately trying to make jokes to pull them away from more dangerous thoughts. His laugh was rather hollow.
”Harry, this isn't pick and choose!" she tried to laugh. "Oh well, I don't think that's too important, we can think more about it later."
"Alright, so how about the last part?"
"Well, that's basic Arithmancy really. You should have taken that class, it's really interesting. The 'Three' are the Mind, Heart and Desire, the Four are the pillars of the spell - the four of us and the four elements-, the 'central Two' are you and me, the 'three couples' are me and Snape, me and you and you and Ginny. The two pairs are the two pairs of lovers, i.e. me and Snape and you and Ginny and the unity is the double circle we're supposed to create to conjure the true light. It's all maths – ‘four’ is the number of the world, of stability, ‘three’ is the number of complete and perfect unity of entities, ‘two’ is the couple and/or the contrast, and ‘one’ is unity. Here, all numbers are turned into each other, fusing the values together and increasing the magic. The 'Four' are at once four, three, two and one, and it's the same for all numbers. It's really powerful."
"Ok, if you say so," Harry said, slightly confused. "But Hermione, what are we going to do with this knowledge? It's absolutely vital that Voldemort doesn't get his hands on it. And those chances aren't too good, seeing as he can break into my mind, he's already broken into Ginny's once, and Snape is one of his Death Eaters!"
"Dumbledore trusts him, Harry. And I do too," she inserted, her voice low. "And even Lupin said that he's a fantastic Occlumens, he should be alright."
"It wasn’t his safety I was worried about. I still don't trust him. Who knows what he would do with this type of information!"
"I don't know. Harry, we must tell Dumbledore. He must know this and he might be able to give us some advice."
Harry stiffened. "Are you sure you want that? What about his reaction to the very unethical teacher-student relationship? Snape could be fired. You could be expelled." He couldn’t quite conceal the happy tone that crept into his voice at the words “Snape” and “fired”.
"He wouldn't be able to do that while Voldemort was still a threat. Dumbledore wouldn't let his personal feelings lead him to a decision that might mean your death and the loss of the war. He's not stupid."
"You're probably right," he said with a sigh, getting to his feet. "Let's go straight away and we'll catch him before the end of classes."
He reached out a hand to pull her up and they left the room, heading towards Dumbledore's office, a tense look on both their faces.
Chapter 14 - In Dumbledore's Office
For a few seconds, Harry and Hermione stood in silence before the stone gargoyles that guarded the entrance to the Headmaster's office. They knew that they had to tell him everything - Sirius's death had shown them how bad keeping information secret during a war could be - but they still feared to do so. Hermione was, despite her trying to convince herself otherwise, worried about Dumbledore's reaction to her affair with Professor Snape. It was, after all, highly unethical and very much against school rules. She looked up at Harry.
"What if we were to tell him what we found out without mentioning any names?" she asked, looking at him pleadingly.
"I don't think that would work, Hermione," he answered with a sigh "This is too important, and even though the whole idea of you and Snape just makes me want to barf, your relationship,” he winced, “is too important to keep a secret, at least from Dumbledore."
She knew he was right, and with a sinking feeling in her stomach she watched him turn his head towards the gargoyle and give the password. The two statues immediately jumped aside and a spiral staircase descended. They stepped in and it started to move again, taking them with it up to Dumbledore's office.
Dumbledore called his "please, come in" before they'd even knocked. It was a little creepy to say the least. With nervous steps, they walked inside, taking a seat in two comfy, chintz armchairs that appeared out of thin air as they approached the old wizard. Dumbledore was sitting in his usual chair behind his desk, with many different rolls of parchment scattered around him. Fawkes, the phoenix, was sleeping on his perch close to the window.
"Harry, Hermione, good afternoon," he said warmly. "How can I be of assistance to you?"
"Well," Harry started, "we've discovered something. Something that we think could be important to the war, and we felt we needed to tell you about it, sir."
"Go on." Dumbledore's expression had become more serious.
"Well, I don't know where to start, really..." Harry said uncertainly, looking at Hermione for help. "It's all rather complicated..." Hermione nodded to him and took over.
"This morning, before we went down to breakfast, Harry called me over because he said he needed to ask me something, and when our hands came into contact, well..." she said, and then proceeded to telling the Headmaster everything that had happened that morning and what they'd found out in the Room of Requirement. She didn't mention either Ginny or Snape though, and Harry gave her a weird look. The headmaster listened to her tale with great interest and a solemn look on his face, and sat silent for a while after she'd finished.
After a couple of minutes, Dumbledore stood up and started pacing behind his desk. He muttered to himself and threw an occasional glance at Harry and Hermione. He then sat back down and asked Hermione to repeat the text in the book, nodding his head and processing every word. Finally, he spoke:
"This is exceptional. I must confess myself to be quite surprised. It seems that you have found one of the last pieces to the Trelawney prophecy, pinning down exactly what kind of ancient magic is referred to as the 'power the Dark Lord knows not'." He looked at their rather puzzled faces before continuing, "You remember, Harry, what I said to you last spring, when I outlined the prophecy for you. I've suspected, ever since you're mother's sacrifice, that Love was the ancient power, which you have in abundance and which Voldemort doesn't have at all. Your escapades during your first five years here at Hogwarts confirmed this theory, but I was still unsure what form this magic would eventually take with regards to the prophecy." He leaned back in his chair and seemed lost in thought for a couple of minutes, before looking back at them.
"You see, there are several different branches of what is usually known as 'Heart magic' or 'Ancient magic' and most are not very well known, with the possible exception of certain branches of Blood magic. I've been rather sure, for many years now, that some part of this obscure magical branch would be a central part of the last confrontation between you, Harry, and Voldemort, where the prophecy will be fulfilled." A glimmer of sadness came into his eyes and Hermione saw that Harry was looking into his lap, not facing the old man.
"Today, you have solved at least part of that mystery. The Pila Lucis is very powerful and extremely rare. I don't think anyone has conjured it for centuries, maybe even longer. The many requirements make sure that the opportunity to use this spell doesn't present itself very often, and very few people even know about its existence. The light it conjures can be stored in a vessel, which is usually one of the two central characters. In this case, the vessel is you, Harry. You will add this ancient power to that which you already carry and it will be your weapon against Voldemort. Your wands are brothers and he already carries some of the magic from Lily's sacrifice through the ritual where he stole your blood. If you can manage to channel this new power, this light, and get it through to him, I think you might be victorious." He leaned closer to the young boy and made him raise his head. "Harry, this is good news."
Harry looked up and gave a weak smile. He didn't dare get too enthusiastic - Dumbledore had warned him, again and again, not to become too sure of himself, not to let his guard down. Still, this gave him more hope than he'd felt in months. He grinned at Hermione and then relaxed a little, leaning back into a more comfortable position in the chair.
"So, how do I channel this magic, and when should we do the ritual to make me the vessel?" he asked, a little excited now. The thought of this long nightmare ending, of finally getting rid of Voldemort and maybe getting the chance to live a normal life, without the prophecy hanging over his head, was very tempting.
"The power is strongest right after the pillar is conjured and then fades over time. Once there, it will never completely leave you, but it will grow faint, leaving the sort of lingering protection your mother gave you. Full power only lasts for about an hour, so it's vital that the ritual be performed as close to the fight as possible. You and I will talk more about methods for channelling this magic at your Occlumency lessons, but right now, I need you to answer some questions." He looked from Harry to Hermione with seriousness in his blue eyes, and they eyed each other nervously. Hermione swallowed hard "Here it comes," she thought, trembling.
"When was the connection between the two of you activated?" His voice was kind as he eyed them intently. Harry cleared his throat.
"Last Thursday, pretty late in the evening," he said. "I was up in the hospital wing, visiting Hermione, and, er, I was really upset, I thought she was dead for a second that afternoon when her cauldron exploded, and it just triggered something in me... I don't know... I just felt like some part of me had died and when she opened her eyes... it was like a light was turned on and my heart healed in a second. I've never felt so relieved and I just- I just needed to feel that she was really there, I guess... So- so I- I kissed her," he finished, looking down into his lap and blushing a bit.
Dumbledore smiled and looked over at Hermione, asking her if there had been any visible light at that time. She said she didn't think so, but wasn't entirely sure.
"I'm sorry to ask you these things as they affect your personal lives, which I really have nothing to do with. But this is important. You see, the visible light cannot be conjured between the Two until their respective relationships with the remaining two have been,” he cleared his throat, “well… consummated. Once that has happened, the Two can create a soft, golden light, even when the other two aren't close by, which can serve as a shield against smaller curses. Since you have already half-conjured the Pillar, I assume that you both have found your Other and that your relationships with these persons have been consummated. Am I correct?"
Both Harry and Hermione blushed profusely as they nodded their heads.
"Professor," Hermione asked, trying to delay the question she knew must come. "Today in Transfiguration, Harry touched my hand but no light was created. Instead, we were able to communicate telepathically and he could read some of my thoughts. What happened there?"
"Hmm, well, as I said, when you and Harry are away from the Others, you can create some light on your own. You don't have to however, and you will learn to control this power, even when all Four are together. The connection is always there, though, and you'll find other ways to use it, like telepathic communication. I believe Harry is currently more skilled at reading your mind and communicating with you as he's had lessons in Occlumency and Legilimency. You'll soon learn to control that connection as well."
"Speaking of which," he continued, reaching for some parchment and a quill. "It's of the greatest importance that all four of you start studying Occlumency as soon as possible. This is a very, very dangerous secret and if Voldemort found out, he'd try to kill at least one of you and destroy the chance of the Pillar being used against him. Harry is already taking lessons with me, but I need to plan lessons for the other three as well. So, Harry, who is your Other?" He looked at him expectantly.
"Ginny Weasley." Dumbledore couldn't hide his smile and looked up at Harry with a twinkle in his eyes.
"Indeed? Well, why don't you bring Miss Weasley along to your lessons then? Since she's already been possessed by Voldemort, she'll need intensive training, but I'm sure she'll learn rapidly." He smiled as he scribbled down a note to Professor McGonagall, informing her of Ginny Weasley's new evening activities. He sealed the scroll and then turned to Hermione, who felt her insides turn to ice. "Here it comes," she thought again.
"Hermione, I think we'll do the same with you and your young man, letting you take lessons at the same time. I would want to ask you a question though - I'm rather busy at the moment and I have very little time in which to put your lessons. I know it didn't work out too well with Harry, but I would ask you to consider taking lessons from Professor Snape instead of me. He's really a fantastic Occlumens, better than me to be entirely truthful, and the two of you don't seem to harbour too much animosity towards each other." She couldn't meet his eyes and fixed hers on the buttons of her robes. Harry squirmed a bit in the chair next to hers and she could almost feel the tension in the air.
"Unless of course, your boyfriend couldn't bear it. I know Professor Snape isn't a very popular teacher - much of his own doing, I'm afraid - but he is very competent. I would have thought that your Other would share your practical mind...?" He eyed her curiously. "Is there another reason to why the two of you wouldn't be able to learn Occlumency from Professor Snape?" he asked gently. Hermione braced herself, the moment of truth was upon her.
"Yes, professor" she said, a tremor to her voice. "I wouldn't mind, but for my... boyfriend…” She almost choked on the word and felt Harry shudder next to her. “... for him, it would not be possible to take lessons from Professor Snape..." She swallowed hard, willing herself to continue, finding that she couldn't...
"Why, my dear?" Dumbledore's voice was friendly, coaxing. She took a deep breath.
"Because my Other is Professor Snape."
***
Shocked silence filled the room. Hermione had never seen the Headmaster look so at loss for what to say or do. He looked at her in complete astonishment, then turned to Harry, who gave a small nod, an angry expression on his face. In just a few seconds, however, Dumbledore managed to collect himself and turned towards her, a now very worried expression on his face.
"Please tell me how this came about, Hermione, this is most serious." His voice was gentle but firm, telling her he wouldn't take kindly to being disobeyed.
"Well, it started with a potion..." She felt tears rise in her eyes as she told the story of the potion that was supposed to make Ron discover his feelings for her, but which proved to have other, unexpected effects. She told him about her first detention, how she and Snape had ended up magically bound to one another and the subsequent week they'd spent together. She left out the details of their meetings but stressed the fact that he had never forced her. She confessed her own feelings and the fact that she didn't know anything about his. She also told him about their agreement to stop seeing each other once the potion wore off and how much she dreaded that moment.
She didn't want it to end - the realisation hit her hard and she felt a sharp pain go through her. There were only about 16 hours left! What if he wanted to end their thing after that? What was she doing in this chair? She should be taking advantage of every moment! She started getting to her feet but was interrupted by Dumbledore's unusually sharp voice.
"Sit down, Hermione. You need to remain here until this matter is settled." She did so and he looked at her with those intense, blue eyes, which now were far from gentle or twinkling.
"Hermione, I need you to understand that what you have done, and what Professor Snape has done, is very serious in the eyes of this school and in the eyes of Wizard Law. You are still underage. He is your professor. Under normal circumstances, you would both face an enquiry in front of the Board of Governors at the very least. Severus would most likely be fired and you would risk expulsion. Had there been any force involved or had he brewed that potion instead of you, he would be facing a probable sentence in Azkaban." His voice took on a more gentle tone, "The fact that you love him, or that you were under the influence of a potion, doesn't change this. Hogwarts' rules clearly state that a member of staff is not allowed to be romantically involved with any of the students. Under normal circumstances, you would both be in a very difficult situation."
Hermione looked up at her headmaster in fear. She wanted to speak, wanted to beg him not to expel her, but her voice seemed to have died. Tears streamed quietly down her cheeks as he looked into his eyes.
"There, there, don't cry." Dumbledore reached into a drawer and pulled out a blue, linen handkerchief and gave it to her. "I understand that this must be very distressing for you. You're not the first student I've had in here who's had a crush on one of her teachers. You are the first, during my time as Headmaster, to actually have an ongoing relationship with one, however. The members of staff here know the rules well and this one is one they actually follow." He smiled sadly. "I must stress the seriousness of this situation and tell you what it normally would lead to. The situation we're all in right now though, with Voldemort rising to power a second time, changes things. These are not normal circumstances and therefore, normal plans of action don't apply."
He let his words sink in for a minute. The silence in the office was absolute, even the portraits were listening with tense expressions on their faces.
"As things stand, I cannot allow either you or Severus to leave this castle. Firing Severus would be the same as killing him, since Voldemort would then have no further use of him, and would most likely get rid of him, or cripple him as punishment. Neither can I expel you, Hermione, since you would be kidnapped and possibly killed within a month by Death Eaters wanting to use you as bait to get to Harry. And frankly, it would be a terrible waste to lose two of Hogwarts' sharpest minds." Hermione managed a little smile at the indirect compliment, but it faded as he continued, "Then we have the added complication of the connection you two just discovered. The magic is dependent on the feelings of the Four. If one is lost, the whole pillar crumbles, and for Harry's sake, and that of the whole wizarding world, we cannot allow that to happen. This might be the only way to fulfil the prophecy to Harry's advantage, and I could never live with myself, knowing that I've doomed the world to a rule of darkness just because I denied - albeit with very good reason - two lovers to be together." He sat quiet for another couple of minutes, looking mostly at Harry, as if trying to make him understand these arguments. No words were spoken, but Hermione had a feeling the two were still talking - she could see Harry's face change, different feelings passing over it. Finally, Dumbledore turned back to her.
"Don't misunderstand me, Hermione, were you a few years older and had left school, I would be happy to hear about your feelings for Professor Snape. - Yes, Harry, happy," he added sharply as Harry made a disgusted grunt. "Severus is a man who's been sorely abused by life, to the point where he barely trusts anyone and figures that the best way not to be hurt by people is to never let anyone come near him. He's surly and unpleasant because it suits him to be so, and his pleasures in life come mainly from pride in his professional achievements and perverse joy in making other people miserable. He's by no means an easy man to be around, but he is, essentially, a good man and he deserves a better life than the one he leads at present. You two are much alike, and your first year at Hogwarts, you reminded me immensely of what he was like as a student. Your friendships, especially the one to Harry and Ron, I would think, have changed you, made you softer, more social, and - most importantly - an essentially happy person. Severus’s friends, when he had any, did not have the same effect on him - quite the opposite, to be frank. You already know that you have much in common, as the connection in the Pillar illustrates. You're of the same nature and the same essence, and I think you would actually make each other very happy. Were you but four-five years older, the age difference wouldn't be much of an issue, since wizards normally live to around 160-180 at least. Severus is still a relatively young man by wizarding standards. He's not a boy, but nor are you a little girl. You've often stricken me as being quite a bit older than you actually are, which is the main reason to why I let you start Hogwarts a year before you were actually due. Intellectually, you're much ahead of the people your age, and I can see why Severus would interest you. The fact still remains that you are appallingly young to be in the kind of relationship that you are, however. Emotionally, I think you're still a sixteen-year-old girl, and you could be very hurt in this. Legally, you're still underage, and the power he has over you through his position as your professor is very negative. You might be perfect for each other, as the ancient magic indicates, but this is not a time to initiate that relationship. You are too young. He is your professor. It's unethical, not to mention illegal."
He broke off, eyeing her intently. She still had tears in her eyes and looked quite miserable. He could see the understanding and the resignation, mixed with fear that Severus would lose interest in her if their relationship was put on hold for several years. All these emotions confirmed the picture he had of her - a girl who was very grown up and very young at the same time.
"So, do you mean that I'll have to stop seeing him, professor?" The fear in her eyes was heartbreaking.
"To be frank with you, my dear, I don't know." Dumbledore said with a sigh. "Your connection is essential to the magic of the Four and I don't know if it would be wise for me to forbid you to see each other. I would prefer this to end, but I'm not sure it would be a good decision to make, considering..." He left his chair and began pacing again, thinking hard.
"I'll give you my decision in the morning and I will talk to Severus right after his classes end today. Since this is the last day of your potion's life span, I assume that the two of you will have plans of some sort for this evening. I advise you to take advantage of this time, since it might very well be your last night together for a very long time." He sunk back down into his chair like a balloon that somebody had punched a hole in. He looked very tired and very old all of a sudden. Hermione felt a surge of guilt.
Harry got to his feet, sensing that the meeting was over. He looked over at Hermione and pulled her out of her chair as well. Without speaking, they left the room, Dumbledore giving a little wave of his hand in goodbye.
Next part
