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redorchidsThere are no words for how much I'm enjoying writing this fic. Current wordcount: 44 700 words and I've reached October 2008 (murders happen September 2009, last scene in the Spyro as it stands now is in 2013 :))
Ryan likes to look at life as a therapeutic chain of events—painful and unpredictable but fairly easy to make sense of once you have all the evidence.
He’s got the chain that’s he and Spencer largely mapped out in his head. Thinks he understands most of the hows and whys from when they started out to where they are now, and one of the major problems he’s identified so far is that he’s missing a key piece of evidence: he doesn’t know what he wants. Not in the larger sense of things, and not when it comes to having a romantic relationship.
Ryan knows plenty of things he doesn’t want. Turning into his dad is pretty high on the list, closely followed by not being enough for somebody and feeling trapped and unable to make his own decisions.
As much as he loves Spencer, the two of them together-together have managed to check off every item on that list several times over, and instead of learning from their mistakes, they did an even worse job of it the second time around. And yet, Ryan can’t completely silence the voice that is telling him that if they tried again, maybe things would be different.
Hope really is the last thing to leave Pandora’s box.
Ryan likes to look at life as a therapeutic chain of events—painful and unpredictable but fairly easy to make sense of once you have all the evidence.
He’s got the chain that’s he and Spencer largely mapped out in his head. Thinks he understands most of the hows and whys from when they started out to where they are now, and one of the major problems he’s identified so far is that he’s missing a key piece of evidence: he doesn’t know what he wants. Not in the larger sense of things, and not when it comes to having a romantic relationship.
Ryan knows plenty of things he doesn’t want. Turning into his dad is pretty high on the list, closely followed by not being enough for somebody and feeling trapped and unable to make his own decisions.
As much as he loves Spencer, the two of them together-together have managed to check off every item on that list several times over, and instead of learning from their mistakes, they did an even worse job of it the second time around. And yet, Ryan can’t completely silence the voice that is telling him that if they tried again, maybe things would be different.
Hope really is the last thing to leave Pandora’s box.
