On Bromance, romance and society norms
Jan. 9th, 2010 12:09 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
redorchidsI went and saw the Sherlock Holmes movie today. Like everyone said, it was wonderfully slashy. (Favourite moments included: squabbling over the shared dog, Watson telling Holmes that yes, he did leave the stove on, and Holmes comment of "Take me down, my tongue is going numb, and then I'll be of no use to you". lol.) Despite the fact that the homoerotic subtext comes through loud and clear (not to mention constantly, seriously, this film is NOT subtle), in the end, Watson still marries a girl. And Holmes has a ~moment with Rachel Adams on a bridge.
It seems to me, as bromance is growing more and more popular in mainstream media, that this is becoming a pattern. Take Merlin. Arthur had more chemistry with a rock in S1, but Guinevere was still there, safely in the spot of future queen, because that's how everyone seems to think it's supposed to go. Boy marries girl, not his male best friend, and if two guys mean the world to each other, then there'd better be a girl in the picture to make sure they're not actually gay.
And this bothers me. So much. And the concept itself is confusing as hell, because you could argue that bromance is good for gay culture, that it's nuancing the male stereotypes and all that, but at the same time, it feels like this huge joke, because the final message never changes--in the end, when everything is said and done, there's always a girl. Just like every time there's an actually independent female character in any major production, she ends up getting a man (because, clearly, that was what was missing from her life). What is that thing you tell parents? That kids will follow your example, not what you tell them to do?
Which makes bromance into nothing more than a giant cocktease. The thing that's never going to happen. Arthur and Merlin are never going to kiss on screen. Watson will always marry Mary. Heck, even Alexander the Great couldn't get more than a few moments of conversation with his true love on screen before they had to throw some hot naked women at him. And I'm... tired of this. I want to go to the cinema and watch a lovestory that's exactly what it seems. Where you don't throw in a hot girl or two at the end as some kind of deus ex machina to have a "real" love. I want you to admit that the first one was real, dear writers and producers, you know, the one you wrote and added enough subtext and dirty jokes to to make sure we wouldn't miss it. I want there to still be bromance, because I think it's great to show close male relationships, and even better for men to have them, but I don't want bromance to be the socially accepted beard for a gay lovestory. And I don't want it to be sending out the message that a gay relationship is something to play "under the table" and ultimately "cure", when the right girl comes along.
So, dear Hollywood, please grow a pair.
And on that note, I'm leaving a rec to a fic that pretty much recaps all of this (and from which I borrowed a couple of expressions). It's one of the best meta-ish fics I've read. (Merlin RPS, Bradley/Colin). Enjoy. :)
It seems to me, as bromance is growing more and more popular in mainstream media, that this is becoming a pattern. Take Merlin. Arthur had more chemistry with a rock in S1, but Guinevere was still there, safely in the spot of future queen, because that's how everyone seems to think it's supposed to go. Boy marries girl, not his male best friend, and if two guys mean the world to each other, then there'd better be a girl in the picture to make sure they're not actually gay.
And this bothers me. So much. And the concept itself is confusing as hell, because you could argue that bromance is good for gay culture, that it's nuancing the male stereotypes and all that, but at the same time, it feels like this huge joke, because the final message never changes--in the end, when everything is said and done, there's always a girl. Just like every time there's an actually independent female character in any major production, she ends up getting a man (because, clearly, that was what was missing from her life). What is that thing you tell parents? That kids will follow your example, not what you tell them to do?
Which makes bromance into nothing more than a giant cocktease. The thing that's never going to happen. Arthur and Merlin are never going to kiss on screen. Watson will always marry Mary. Heck, even Alexander the Great couldn't get more than a few moments of conversation with his true love on screen before they had to throw some hot naked women at him. And I'm... tired of this. I want to go to the cinema and watch a lovestory that's exactly what it seems. Where you don't throw in a hot girl or two at the end as some kind of deus ex machina to have a "real" love. I want you to admit that the first one was real, dear writers and producers, you know, the one you wrote and added enough subtext and dirty jokes to to make sure we wouldn't miss it. I want there to still be bromance, because I think it's great to show close male relationships, and even better for men to have them, but I don't want bromance to be the socially accepted beard for a gay lovestory. And I don't want it to be sending out the message that a gay relationship is something to play "under the table" and ultimately "cure", when the right girl comes along.
So, dear Hollywood, please grow a pair.
And on that note, I'm leaving a rec to a fic that pretty much recaps all of this (and from which I borrowed a couple of expressions). It's one of the best meta-ish fics I've read. (Merlin RPS, Bradley/Colin). Enjoy. :)
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no subject
Date: 2010-01-08 11:43 pm (UTC)this, please.
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Date: 2010-01-08 11:47 pm (UTC)Btw, I just remembered that I forgot to comment on your entry about not imposing gender stereotypes on your kids (and kids in general). I loved that whole thing. I'm so happy that there are parents out there who think that if their kids want to paint their nails, they should be able to and that "trowing like a girl" is a stupid thing to say. Just. big ♥ to you for that.
no subject
Date: 2010-01-08 11:48 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-01-09 12:28 am (UTC)That's part of why i loved Torchwood so much, because Jack flirted anything with a pulse, male female whatever, but he always came back to Ianto. then of course they had to go screw that up... but it was always the case, jack was always his in the end.
*sigh*
it's progress, at least though right? years ago this shit would have been banned. it's not right yet, but it's better at least, right?
no subject
Date: 2010-01-09 12:35 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-01-09 12:54 am (UTC)Everything that is presented in mainstream entertainment is so close-minded, even when they try to 'push the envelope'. Why is it that they feel as if we can't handle or don't deserve something real and honest? Something that treats all parties involved as equals deserving of choices - choices that sometimes don't fall into hetero/gendernormative behaviors.
Blah!
I BLAME THE PATRIARCHY!
Also, thanks for the rec :D
no subject
Date: 2010-01-09 01:12 am (UTC)Stupid heteronorm is stupid *grumbles*
Oooh, speaking of merlin recs, have you seen this page? http://frogspace.livejournal.com/284705.html
SO MANY RECS!!! And they're all gooood. \o/ !!!!
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Date: 2010-01-09 01:21 am (UTC)♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥
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Date: 2010-01-09 01:16 am (UTC)I agree, and actually thought about this the other day. not exactly with sherlock and everything, but how all hollywood movies has to have the male-female pairing as the norm. It would be very refreshing to see a movie with a same sex pairing, that don't just try to show all the scandal behind being gay, or the problems that surround them, but just a regular rom-com or something.
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Date: 2010-01-09 01:19 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-01-10 03:44 am (UTC)You say everything I feel about it, but better.
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Date: 2010-01-10 11:26 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2010-01-17 09:07 pm (UTC)Willow and Tara? Doctor Weaver in ER? Jack in Dawson's Creek? Brokeback Mountain? We get those "first gay kiss on network TV" moments, but they don't ever become normal. They're still oddities. Every new Gay Character or couple is still described as such a brave thing to show. And most of their storylines revolve around their sexuality. It's just so sad...
And it's not helped at all when they take the time to build friendships (usually between two males, because everyone knows that a male/female friendship is just impossible, theere has to be a sexual component there ), but with Het couples, they just pick two 'hot' actors and voilĂ . Automatically, you're supposed to believe they are Meant to Be.
As a result, the relationships that progress in a more natural manner are those bromances, the actors are more comfortable, and chemistry and a natural affection just blossoms from there. You can believe a romance with them, you want it.
But what you get is the writers forcing horrible cliché moments with the het couple down your throat. Merlin and Arthur can have a Destiny together, a friendship of legends, and all the natural chemistry they want, because at the end of the day Arthur goes to Gwen. Because she's female.
UGGGHHHHHH...
When will we break out of this pattern? at least we have fan fiction (I read that fic a while ago, it's awesome).
no subject
Date: 2010-01-18 02:17 pm (UTC)That's exactly what I've been feeling. I get completely frustrated with het lovestories on screen because they just seem so shallow. It's like they go "look, here's a girl. She's hot. You have absolutely nothing in common with her. Now go make babies and true love" to all male characters (and vice versa). It's pretty offensive actually, to people in general.
Go, real relationships and characters with more than one dimension! *waves sign*